Run this up the flag pole and stick it in your…

The following statements were uttered (thankfully, none by me) between the hours of 8:00 am and 10:00 am this morning in a meeting only made interesting by my willingness to listen for more gems like these…I wish I was making it up…

• You want friends? Buy a goldfish. When he doesn’t like you anymore you can flush him down the toilet and buy another one.  
• Raw meat on the table is good for everyone.
• You need to be like a dog on a leash chasing a rabbit; when your neck snaps back you know you’ve gone far enough.
• Tell them to take their turf issues out to the parking lot. 
• They are seriously eating our lunch.
• As we all know, water flows downhill.
• Let’s tee it up and see what happens.
• It’s kind of like a bag of chips.
• We’ve got our marching orders and hopefully we’re all singing the same tune.
• First you need to swallow the big rat, then you can worry about the care and feeding. 

and my personal favorite…

• Don’t blow your wad all at once.