A duck walks into a bar… but you’ve probably heard that one, so how about a funny little story from my days as a barnacle scraper. Nelson Anderson was the boat-yard’s head boat-mechanic, and in his shop he had a mini-refrigerator, and in his mini-refrigerator he put his daily donut supply. But his donuts were disappearing. He tried but couldn’t catch the crook until finally he chocolate-coated a honey-glazed donut with Ex-Lax and caught his donut-thief brown-handed. I didn’t know about the Ex-Lax trap, but the day after it had been set, Kenny, a fellow yard-dog, came out of the bathroom and took me aside. “Rich, man, don’t tell anyone, man, I shit in my pants on the damn bus this morning.” I said, “What!” and cracked up laughing, then went around telling everybody I could find. When I told Nelson, he said, “Ah ha! Got him!” And I said, “What?” And then he asked me, “Can you keep a secret…?” When I saw Kenny later, I said, “Kenny, how the hell did you shit yourself? What’d you have for breakfast this morning?” He held his stomach with both hands and said, “Man, all I had was a damn chocolate-covered donut.” I kept Nelson’s secret for as long as I could, but it was a secret too good to keep for very long at all.
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- MSSB @ M Shanghai Den
Our monthly first Saturday gig. Awesome Schezwan food!
When: Feb 7, 2009 9:00:00 PM
Where: M Shanghai Den in Brooklyn,New York
Posted by:richardpetermorris
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- Morality: 2012: Online Only Video: The New Yorker - The social and cultural psychologist Jonathan Haidt talks with Henry Finder about the five foundations of morality, and why liberals often fail to get their message across. From ?2012: Stories from the Near Future,? the 2007 New Yorker Conference.
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- Findings - For Good Self-Control, Try Getting Religious About It - NYTimes.com - "Religious people, he said, are self-controlled not simply because they fear God?s wrath, but because they?ve absorbed the ideals of their religion into their own system of values, and have thereby given their personal goals an aura of sacredness. He suggested that nonbelievers try a secular version of that strategy." . . . "So what?s a heathen to do in 2009? Dr. McCullough?s advice is to try replicating some of the religious mechanisms that seem to improve self-control, like private meditation or public involvement with an organization that has strong ideals."
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if only there was a way to keep people from taking my beer.
That Nelson, such a trendsetter; in my town, the junk food capital, it’s hard to find a pack of donuts that isn’t coated with Ex-Lax anymore. Or cheese fries, either, for that matter.