A common run at my firehouse in Queens was “Unconscious in Vehicle” which generally involved a parked livery cab with the driver inside sleeping. One early afternoon when this run came in we assumed we’d be waking a harmless napper, but instead found a car angled into the curb and dipping forward on the axle of a destroyed and removed front tire. We thought, perhaps, the jack had collapsed and someone was trapped underneath, but a quick cheek to asphalt survey proved this not to be the case. And so we approached the driver’s window, looked inside, and were stunned by the hilarity of the scene. A blanket covered the front windshield, protecting the car’s interior from the direct blaze of the hot noonday sun. A water bottle containing a single rose sat romantically on the dashboard. And in the front seats soundly slept a man and a woman, naked and nearly as shiny as the day they were born. We stared in wide-eyed amusement until my lieutenant tapped on the window and woke the sleeping lovers. I distinctly remember the woman’s face as her eyes blearily opened. She blinked slowly, smacked her tongue on the sticky roof of her mouth, turned her head lazily toward the firemen outside her love nest, then looked down at her nudity and came very suddenly to life. Her mouth opened wide, her eyes opened wider, and her arms slammed across her breasts like a bear trap. We began to back off, to leave the hungover post-coitals some privacy to dress in, and the fighting began. The woman beat on her man as he tried to find her a pair of underpants, finally and unselfishly giving her his own which she immediately threw in his face. She punched and screamed and exited the car twisting her dress down over her amply hairy bush, shoes in hand until they flew through the window nailing her former love-partner in the head. The man sat meekly, taking his blows, not saying a word. And though we were laughing, we had to intervene. The woman, having been sufficiently humiliated, retrieved her shoes and stormed off into the sunny afternoon. And I had to wonder, did we just witness the end of a beautiful affair?
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Good story. Stuff like that just doesn’t happen in the education racket. well, not as far as I know anyway. On another note, Nav, We must find a way to get together I feel terrible that we’ve not yet been able to celebrate the nuptuals. I’m not at all sure that I’ve spelled or used that word correctly. Grandpop’s barn burned down yesterday Im sure he’s quite sad. Im going to visit him after school today.
Stuff like that just doesn’t happen in the education racket???
Mary Kay Letourneau Weds Former Student
Nav, this is why I tune into WB so often. Just to peck at the crumbs dropping from your munchings of life.
i agree. its high time we all go out and get pissed in honor of the NAV. it will be a drunken, political, story telling, confusing, argumentitive, musical epiphany.
seriously, i would love to help organize this….lets communicate this via the email circuit.
You are too damn kind, all you knucklehumpers!!!
Ken’s question was timely and appropriate for no sooner had I clicked the submit button when the engine of the school’s rumor mill came to inform me that an affair between colleagues in the building next door has resulted in the cancellation of a wedding the ruin of an existing marriage. I just hope Holly’s not involved. On another note, I have seen the new star wars and im ready to discuss it with anyone who cares to, but i cannot post entries on WB only comments.
beedge. check your email. i set you up with an account so you can post. also
it seems that nav was having problems in that all of his posts were getting stuck in “draft” mode. I think i’ve fixed it. if anyone else is having problems posting Posts or Comments, let me know.
jim
Beej or Jimmy, e-mail me what’s up with grandpop’s barn… (tell me the el camino’s weren’t inside)
rnav@mcihispeed.net
So let me get this straight…where was the missing front tire? And whose car was it anyway? Was it a green ‘92 Skylark with fuzzy dice hanging from the rear-view mirror and stenciled flames on the sides? A true love machine. Mine went missing a couple months ago, and it did have a loose ball joint on the right front wheel. Damn, I bet that’s my car.
Nav- I haven’t seen the damage yet, but Mom said the whole barn and everything inside it is gone. 20 or so tractors a couple old cars including a model A ford. The el camino bit the big one a month ago or so, but im not sure about the older one. Pops drivin a low rider dodge pick-up these days, but iknow he’d rather have the El camino if we found one for the right price.
It seems that the El Camino might have been the source of the blaze - but of course they’d need a professional firefighter’s opinion on that.
It occurs to me that, if the famous google satellite photo shows the barn, it may now be a collector’s item.
The barn is indeed gone and everything in it. I saw the last smoldering embers being sprayed out by the 5 fire trucks and 100 foot aerial ladder sprayer. What a scene. They rolled hose from the road a 1/4 mile up the driveway. It seems the Cadillac was the firestarter on this one. Pop Pop was bummed, but maintained his usual cool and even temperment. It was a bit of a strange reunion of sorts with second cousins and family folk from the ‘pop pop’ side of the family that I really never see. Many people walked up to me and said things such as :”I’m your cousin, so and so’s husband. I remember coming up to the farm when you were still real little to burn garbage and shoot at groundhogs…” Seriously….