I spent the week down in the trenches. Literally. Trench school for the FDNY. We learned how to shore the walls of straight trenches, deep trenches, L-shaped trenches, T-shaped trenches, trenches with gutted bellies. We shored our way down, climbing in to dig out buried dummies. It was hard, sweaty work, but interesting and exciting enough to keep me intrigued despite my hatred of such early mornings. And, I’m kind of an asshole, so probably the three highlights for me were the following: 1) Big Brown was minding his own business and I tickled the back of his ear with a piece of grass. He spun around like a tornado, and slapped himself so hard that his helmet would have flown off his head if the chin strap wasn’t in place. That cracked me up, and made him want to kick my ass. 2) Rob had just come out of the trench with his hands covered in mud, and I told him, “You have something on your lip.” I didn’t think he’d fall for it, but he did. He rubbed his lip with his muddy hand. I felt a little guilty, but it cracked me up, and made him want to kick my ass. 3) Timmy went off to take a leak against the fenced border of the fire academy, and about five of us had the same joke at the same time. “Hey Timmy! Hey Timmy!” Then we all started throwing rocks around him. I’m not sure if he got all his pee out, or if he just gave up. But it cracked us all up, even him, and I don’t think he wanted to kick any of our asses. And now I am a Trench Collapse Technician.