As I watch Diamond Jim’s man room video, I have one major question that flashes repeatedly in my mind like a bright Times Square billboard. I’ll ask it in a second. First I have to comment on the fine work that Jim and Kel’s Dad have done with his basement. If in seventeen years, Jim, you hear Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke penetrating through the air vents at three in the morning, don’t go downstairs. Give the neighborhood kids a break. (Your mom put up with a whole lot more than that from us when we were in our wild youth.) You’re going to make that basement too comfortable for your own good, Jimmy, and as your kid grows up, all the rest of the neighborhood kids are going to realize that they can sit in the rockin’est recliners blasting Zeppelin louder in the Willis basement than anywhere else on the block. Good job. Your doomed.

And now my question, an important question… I do a lot with the internet, as you know, spending many, many hours each day researching numerous topics and websites, and yet, despite all this research, still the longest porno clips I can find are only about twenty seconds long. How can I click on a Diamond Jim production and be treated to several steady flowing minutes of, well, not porn, but certainly interesting video?

Is this something I should be asking out loud? I meant to start this question with, I have this friend who…